左侧栏目
免费资料
右侧栏目
近年流行的把反馈概念引入写作教学的过程教学法,形成了独具一格的写作教学模式。 “反馈是读者向作者的输入,它的功能是向作者提供修改作文的信息”。Keh (1990: 294)把过程教学法中的信息交互分为同级反馈(peer feedback)、会谈式反馈(conferences as feedback)和批语式反馈(comments as feedback)三种形式。
笔者在教学实践中感到把反馈概念引入教学,的确有助于激发学生的思维,高效地纠正写作中的错误。尤其是会谈式反馈,教师在与学生会谈式的信息交流中,“帮助学员找出错误”,“协助学员做出决定”。这样,“教员成了写作过程的参与者,而不是判分者”,从而能“更精确地反馈信息”。 在会谈式反馈中Ken还建议,教员要有意识地引导学员的“高级关注点”(high order concerns—HOCs),而不仅仅是“低级关注点”(low order concerns—LOCs)。这是因为,“研究表明学生容易关注表面的、机械的错误,也就是通常称作的‘低级关注点’,而不易关注诸如写作的关键点、作文的篇章结构、想法的发展等这样的‘高级关注点’。”会谈式反馈丰富了写作的背景知识系统,提高了写作信息的加工深度。
下面我们就学生模仿“The Importance of Just Being There”(《大学英语》泛读第二册第11课)一文的写作实例,谈谈就文章的体裁进行“阅读—>启发—>模仿—>创作—>反馈—>修改”的流程。
“The Importance of Just Being There”一文开门见山提出问题:“What is the most important thing you’ve done in your life”?尔后,作者叙述曾经的经历让他悟出的真诚答案和由此派生的几多感触。文章提出问题—>叙写经历—>生发感慨,段与段之间自然的衔接与过渡,使全文脉络清晰、浑然一体。作者由普通的经历升华到由衷的感悟,平实的叙述,真切的体验,读来让人觉得颇有真情实感,是一篇很好的学生临模范本。
“Life Can Change in An Instant”是中国科技大学99级20系一位同学一年级下学期读 “The Importance of Just Being There”一文后的模拟习作(请见附录)。
初读通过email给我发来的作文,心中很是欣喜。学生自觉地模仿、领悟和借鉴,领会到“规摹变化之诀”,将课堂上学到的写作知识转化为写作能力,“化旧为新”,通往“创新”的自由王国了。
其文章有真实内容,有思想火花。从行文上看,作者也在试图模仿范例的篇章结构。但读起来让人觉得一篇小文杂乱地拥挤了太多的ideas,火花到处闪,让人眼花燎乱,巡不到文章清晰的脉络。
于是我与这位同学就这篇作文一起讨论。会谈中我首先让学生提出问题并发表见解,然后就我的理解,对他文章的内容、观点以及展开方式提出问题,这样既尊重了学生,同时又自然地就文章的“高级关注点”渗入了自己的想法。我启发学生对照自己的作文再次研读范文,尤其注意范文段与段之间的过渡与衔接,鼓励学生对作文的篇章结构作必要的修改,大胆删减,力求精炼,改掉不地道的中国式英语,当然还有不该犯的语法错误。同时留意学习范文的用词风格与方式,力求使自己文章的叙述方式更加栩栩如生。修改后的作文应该说更精炼生动了。
古人学文有三偷:浅者偷其字,中者偷其意,高者偷其气。
习作者在目击小狗被撞的叙述中,用了很多 “Specific Words”,如 “... protruding it’s nose here and there smelling”, “the stream of cars, bicycles...”;句式结构也很丰富( “I saw a lovely puppy running along in a busy street, protruding it’s nose here and there smelling”);行文紧凑,镜头感强( “The next scene was not...”, “The stream of cars, bicycles... moved as usual...”)。这些都是模仿范文中的那段叙述( “While we were playing, a car came screaming...” )。作者创造性的模仿与范文的叙写有异曲同工之妙。文中习作者还恰如其分地运用了多种修辞手段,如比喻(Life is short compared with the eternal universe, like a falling star flashing over the sky.)、委婉( He goes into eternal sleep, never to wake again.)和Specific Words(a candle blinking in the wind;His life flickers out; a lovely puppy , etc.),此谓学生在模仿范文时的“偷其字”。
“Life Can Change in An Instant” 在布局谋篇上用心良苦,习作者仿照范文,开门见山。开篇指出“生命无常”虽为老生常谈,但若非亲眼目击生命的陨落,不见得能体味真谛。接着,作者描述一条小狗在繁杂的街头遇难的情景,令“我”触景生情,第一次感到“生命如此脆弱”,感叹“生命无常”。接着一个一句话段落 “The incident makes me think a lot”,转折性句子顺畅地把文章转到作者更为深远的感悟。
“意”犹帅也。意,就是作者在生活中有了感受之后,由感而发,表达思想感情。 “Life Can Change in An Instant”表生命短暂,生命无常,抓住生命,愉快生活。这是学生在情节、布局、立意三方面“偷其意。”
至于“高者偷其气”, 文章似乎就有些逊色了。“气”者,文章的精神,认识的精髓也。 “The Importance of Just Being There”一文,作者由经验而体味的认识深入浅出,入人心肺,令人会意而共鸣,普通且深刻,平实又深奥。而 “Life Can Change in An Instant”的认识虽入理却显得有点老生常谈。
“模仿是创作的第一步。”模仿需要样板,教科书就是最好的范文。学生作文先入套,模仿;再出套,创新。学习写作,必须读完写,模仿范文的内容、词句、手法,取其精华,化为自己的写作本领;写完读,文成再读书,在与范文的比较中,排其欠缺,琢磨提高。读写结合,在阅读中培养感性认识,在写作模仿中展现理性思维。这样的阅读学习才更为完整。
附录:
Life Can Change In An Instant
The old saying “life can change in an instant” falls from the tongue too easily but we usually cannot sense the true essence of it until we really witnesses it.
The other day I was walking along the street when I saw a lovely puppy running along in the busy street, protruding it’s nose here and there smelling. Suddenly he turned and ran to the other side of the street as if something there drew his attention. The next scene was not what we often saw in the film: all the cars, bicycles and foot passengers would stop for a moment letting the little thing go through. The stream of cars, bicycles and people moved as usual with slightest attention on it. A car did stop all of a sudden, holding up the traffic a little and causing some noises. And then it went on and everything was normal again but that little lovely puppy. It disappeared from the world forever, with the mark of blood on the road showing only it’s once existence.
I stood there stunned. I couldn’t move or think for a moment. For the first time I felt life was so faint and delicate. It reminded me of what Elton John said at Princess Diana’s funeral: life is like a candle in the wind. You don’t know when it will go out, nor do you know how long it will last. It is just like a candle blinking in the wind, dim and faint. Life really can change in an instant.
The incident makes me think a lot.
Life always begins with innocent childhood, followed by awkward adolescent trying to adapt itself to mature society, with its young passions, follies, ideas and ambitions. Then it comes to the manhood of intense activities; and then the sunset of life. And then with his descendants inherited his blood and spirit and continuing to pass them down from generation to generation his life finally flickers out and he goes into eternal sleep, never to wake again.
That’s the life circle of human beings. It is equal to everyone no matter he is an emperor or a beggar. Life is short compared with the eternal universe, like a falling star flashing over the sky; Life is delicate compared with the sturdy MT. Qomolangma, like clear and shining glass being easily broken. Life is humble in front of the marvelous nature. Man can sometimes do little to his fate.
So grip you life at this instant, make it worth living. Don’t let any unnecessary worries upset you for who knows what will happen to you next ?